Comparison vs. Inspiration- a follow up to Esther Envy

Thanks to a comment made by an anonymous source on the Esther blog- I started thinking a little bit more about this idea of “envy” which could essentially be boiled down to comparison.

It is a natural tendency of mine as a woman to compare. I can’t even tell you when it all began. It is almost as if it is just innate, inborn.  And it is so hard not to fight the urge. Facebook is notorious for evoking feelings of inadequacy and ineptness. Seeing all those beautifully decorated houses, perfectly posed family pictures, exotic vacation experiences, exclusively organic home cooked meals, well organized toy bins. I read other blogs that put mine to shame. Have far more spiritual depth and relevance or are ridiculously hilarious- and more widely read.  The comparison becomes a thief of my confidence in how I was created and who actually created me. I lose my bearing, get caught up in the tide drowning in an ocean of I wish I could do that, be like her, look that way, have that perspective.

So then, I feel it almost necessary to reinvent myself to be relevant, up to par, socially acceptable. To be more like that writer or mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend.  But try as I may I am unable to really change the core of who I am and how I was designed, how I process information or respond in stressful situations.  And that is actually a GOOD thing. There is a reason. A method to the madness.  With every gift there is a strength and weakness that accompanies it. So often, we see ONLY the strengths of others and ONLY the weaknesses in ourselves. (** side note, I wrote this a month ago before the recent Dove video was circulating all over the internet. It shows exactly this. How others see us vs. how we see ourselves. If you haven't seen it, it's worth a view here)

The perception we have of ourselves vs. those that we have of others is so skewed. We tend to project our thoughts about a person on them, assuming they too see the same in themselves.  When in reality all people struggle with doubt and insecurity on some level.  Some are just better at overcoming those thoughts. So should we be jealous or feel inferior? Or take note and be inspired that someone else walking this same journey called life has found the strength to fight the negative voices that are constantly screaming at them too. They decided to take a risk, a leap of faith, trusting that if God is for them who could be against them? Can we be grateful for the gifts God has given them and appreciate how they build, encourage and edify the body?  And can we stop feeling that if OUR voice isn’t being heard on a larger scale that we don’t matter? That all parts of the body are necessary to allow it to function properly and to the best of its ability.  Without a pinky toe we would be thrown off balance. How much credit does that toe really get? Or any toe for that matter? But it is necessary. And the pinky toe doesn’t spend its day wishing it were an eye. Putting itself down because its function of the body isn’t as glamorous or well known, or talked about much.

I find that my focus needs to be so single minded. That I allow so many things to entangle me and keep me from forging ahead in my relationship with the Lord and making His priorities mine. Your will not mine. And I’ve started to wonder if instead of becoming discouraged by other’s success could I rejoice with them and derive a sense of inspiration? They may have a wider realm of influence. But they don’t know the same people I know. They aren’t living in the same house with this family. Only me. Their talents and abilities may be more glamorous or well known but that is not nor should ever be my concern.

I read this http://www.servelec.net/mothertheresa.htm interview with Mother Teresa several years ago and it has always stuck with me.  Her single minded focus to serve Jesus by serving the poor, completely undistracted by outside thoughts or opinions- that is how I want to live. She is an inspiration to me. God gave her a passion, she pursued it by only listening to His voice and guidance and pressed on. Human just like me. A woman just like me. With far fewer material resources. Her gift of mercy became well known but was not glamorous by any means.In our pursuit to “make a name for ourselves” we put others down to elevate ourselves. We claw and fight and gossip and belittle others out of our lack of focus on the one true goal. Our inability to accept our God given gifts distracts us from accomplishing all He has for us. And I am fully guilty of doing all of the above. And the enemy rejoices.But what if as women, we chose to love, accept, encourage and inspire one another to be ALL God created each one of us to be? To appreciate the gifts we see those around us exhibiting and give praise to God for those beautiful things. Not to be down on ourselves for not having that particular ability.If you are unable to read all of the interview, read this. Could we all humbly view ourselves as an instrument to be used by God however He sees fit and to rest in that, knowing He will complete the work He has begun and all glory be given to Him alone?

 “ … I don't claim anything of the work. It's His work. I'm like a little pencil in His hand. That's all. He does the thinking. He does the writing. The pencil has nothing to do it. The pencil has only to be allowed to be used. In human terms, the success of our work should not have happened, no? That is a sign that it's His work, and that He is using others as instruments - all our Sisters. None of us could produce this. Yet see what He has done.” – Mother Teresa

Join me in the fight for our attention and preoccupation with what truly matters. To find inspiration in the talents of others and glorify God because of them. And rest contented in the life He has called us to live. Single minded in the pursuit of glorifying Him alone. x