I have Esther envy. I admit it. She has always been my
favorite character in the Bible. I admire her, esteem her, want to be her.
Seriously, what girl wouldn’t want to spend a YEAR
beautifying herself for the chance to marry a king and become a queen? How has
she not become a Disney princess? It’s the perfect “biblical” fairytale. I
honestly can’t imagine what I could possibly do with my face and body for a
whole year to make it suitable for a king. I love to think of the moment when
she is parading in front of him, her heart racing and when their eyes meet she
knows. You know how it goes. When that guy looks your way (wanted or unwanted)
you know. And she KNEW. “… she won his favor and approval more than any of the
other virgins. So he set a royal crown on her head and made her queen…” Cue: Huge girly sigh.
Yes, of course I would love to have that kind of beauty and
power, but that is not the main reason I envy Esther. No – for a girl who has
struggled her entire life questioning her purpose I envy Esther for her
distinct role in saving her people.; Her “for such a time as this” moment, that
to me seemed so obvious and clearly from God.
And not just her moment but her tenacity, confidence and faith to
execute the plan God had for her. She was wise and cunning. Humble yet
assertive. Gracious yet just. She was
gorgeous and Godly. God set her apart, crafted her to be super attractive to
catch the eye of a man (who by most “Christian” definitions would not have fit
the criteria suitable for a Christian girl to marry-more on that later ;), to
become a queen that would be willing to sacrifice her life for the sake of her
people. Man, what a purpose.
I have a quote written in my Bible spoken from my former
pastor, Gary Brandenburg who said, “God created you on purpose for a
purpose.” This I have had to repeat to
myself. ON PURPOSE, not mistakenly. FOR A PURPOSE, not unnecessarily. We have all
been crafted by God to fulfill the role He has for us on this Earth, in
essence- for the sake of His people- all people and ultimately His glory. And
yet, if any of you are like me doubt seems to be an ever looming enemy creeping
into your mind questioning if that is really true. And I wonder did Esther ever
doubt? As obvious as it is to me since it is written so clearly in the Bible
was it that obvious to her? And could it be we are all in the process of being
“refined or beautified” to fulfill our “for such a time as this” moment? Does
it have to be so monumental or can we be content fulfilling the role of mother,
wife, coworker, friend, daughter, sister.
And are we doing the best we can with what we’ve been given in the role
we have been assigned?
I attended a mission program after high school and
one of the speakers (Rob Morris- my favorite by the way) posed a question to us
that really got me thinking. He asked, if after we completed our “mission trip” God
came to us and said, Ok, now I’m ready to tell you what I want you to do next…
I want you to go home, work at the gas station down the
corner from your house and minister to the people that come in and out of
there. What would our response be?
But God, I have so much potential. Don’t you have something
bigger for me? What a waste! And the ugly truth is that IS how I respond. And I live in that unsettled land of not
producing or doing enough and feeling discontent with what I’ve been dealt.
When I think of things that glorify God I often think of
birds. I watch them go about their business hanging out on the phone line or
hopping around from one twig to the next. Then they take off in the sky and
soar through the air. Because they exist as God’s created ones they glorify God
and because they do what they were designed to do they glorify God. Plain and simple.
So I think it’s time for me to resign my envy because the
reality is, I too have been created for such a time as this and just like
Esther I can execute the plan God has for my life. And I see that as first and
foremost existing as His created one and doing what I have been assigned to the
best of my (imperfect) ability. What I have right in front of me now are two 3
year old boys full of life and energy that demand my time and attention and
desperately need saving! (can I get an amen) My disciples. My people. HIS
people. And although I am not getting a year’s worth of beauty treatments in
the process I am being refined every day to look more and more like Jesus-
beauty unimaginable. So when I walk in
front of my King and catch His eye I will KNOW who I am and WHOSE I am. And so
can YOU sister. You exist, therefore you glorify God as His created one. Now
SOAR dear friend-an eternity of beauty awaits!
What has God created and called you to be/do?
