An open letter to all the 20 Reasons posts

Ok no not really. But it seems lately everyone has at least 10 or 20 reasons for something. Or has written and open letter. I didn’t want to be left out.

And while on the subject, this is the reason why I haven’t really posted anything in a long while.  Many of my closest friends have encouraged me to write, saying that I have a voice that the world needs. Yet I read around the blogosphere and I realize I’m not really saying anything new.  I’m not the first to question my faith, lose a close friend, be a mom of twins or deal with past regrets or pain. I’ve found myself wanting, needing, craving SILENCE. Silence my thoughts and all the voices and opinions around me… Ways I should dress, worship, believe, behave, think, pray, reconcile, parent, wife… etc. etc.

I have been in a state of cynicism and truly the last thing the internet needs is another bitter person voicing their frustration for all the world to read—even more so, a so called “Christian”.

Aside from the political arena, which I clearly have an opinion on, I have noticed that there is an extreme discord among Christians all over.  So much anger. So much finger pointing and blaming.

I find myself getting sucked into this way of thinking. Certain radio hosts that truly make my skin crawl. I judge because she is self-righteous. Certain radio preachers that are so very conservative. I judge  because he is so narrow minded. Bloggers that harp on other pastors for being too patriarchal. I judge because she is too merciless.  And oh if I could just see past the plank in my own eye, I might notice that I too can be a self righteous, narrow minded, merciless… you know what.

And I have realized, it is so much easier to focus on all the negative. All that is wrong. The ways in which the church has failed and other Christians have let me down. How no one seems to get a long and so many open letters being written to one another for not thinking the “right” way.

So I have found myself with little to say. Which is very unusual. And I have noticed myself actually enjoying life. I said the words, “I am happy.” And cringed… waiting for lightning to strike.  Like it is such a bad thing to feel happy.  When everyone else seems so very, very UNhappy.

But with all I have battled through the last year, I can confidently say, life is too short to get hung up on what I can’t control. Which is everything and everyone other than myself. Who can even be uncontrollable at times. And there is an insurmountable abundance of freedom in that.  You hear the  quote if you want change, be the change you want to see, and that is now my motto. I could use this blog to voice my opinion on doctrine or scriptural interpretation. A platform to convince others that believing in certain things will save them, make them better, improve the world. But unless my life reflects one of gratitude, encouragement and selflessness, what is the point?

I want to invite my readers to LIVE.  To invest their time into what matters. To unplug if necessary and ignore the plethora of opinions and open letters that are floating around and will always be around.

I find it exhausting trying to keep up. And I mourn over time and energy wasted.  Several bloggers out there are trying to be encouraging and uplifting. Honest and authentic. I appreciate those and often walk away feeling lighter.

So I hope to do the same for others.

Ultimately, I want to inspire everyone to pursue the things that make them SHINE.  To find beauty in their days despite the ugly that might be all around them.  To find Joy. Peace. Gentleness. Kindness. Love.

These fruits are worth pursuing. Worth spending headspace on. 

So consider this an open letter to all the open letters out there.  Can we use our words to uplift rather than tear down? To maybe find what is being done RIGHT rather than criticize all that is being done wrong? To join hands and fight against the popular opinion that we must be heard and we must be right and just simply love.

I get it. I understand the NEED to project an opinion. I fall into the trap daily- especially as a writer. Even maybe in this very moment.  But I want to put my weapons down.  And just outstretch my arms and give the world and everyone in it a big, giant hug.  We are all doing this thing called life together.  And many will still bring out their big guns.  But we DO have a choice.  To pursue peace or demand division.

It may be I have found 20 reasons why NOT to blog. But for now I want the world to know, I have been blessed beyond measure. My family. My friends. My GOD. I am always loved and God is always good.   I am so very thankful and pray I will never lose sight of the abundance even when it seems scarce. Even if I happen to disagree with a fellow sojourner.

2013 has truly been an unforgettable year, and not in the best way. Yet I find myself grateful for the lessons I have learned from some truly, life-altering and difficult circumstances. It seems I have learned more in the last year than in all 31 others combined. And so I approach the new year with a new perspective: 

• Never take any relationship for granted- tell those you love just how much you love them
• Slow down and notice, REALLY notice life around you
• Say thank you always, every day
• Oh be careful little mouth what you say
• It's OK to like yourself even if others don't- it actually starts with you anyways.

So my hope is that no matter what 2014 may hold, I will NOT forget the lessons from before and my words will be seasoned with life giving sustenance that build up and encourage. I'm clearly aware of the fact that not everything is rainbows and gumdrops and I won't pretend that it is. I would just rather find the rainbows instead of drown them out with all the other dreary, dismal stuff life often tends to bring to the surface. 

Thank you- to those of you who continue to read. May your Christmas be filled with joy and the new year full of life, love and adventure.