When I survey my life there is a blindingly obvious blessing in the person of my husband. More than a glimpse, this man has embodied to me the love of Jesus on a day by day, minute by minute basis. If you follow this blog you can imagine the depth of conversations I force him to engage in. The combination of being a deep thinker plus having quality time as my number one love language can make a torturous evening for a man that enjoys the simple things in life.
After 7 years of marriage he has yet to blow up at me for the nitpicking I indulge in. It should be a huge sign that the majority of my focus on all he fails to do right is pretty much a projection of my inward struggle to attain perfection. This man is solid. And I often think if the tables were turned I would have bailed long ago.
The first day we met I was turning 20. He was a mere 18. So young! I had been on my desperate search to find "the one" pretty much since age 5. Boy crazy barely scratches the surface. But my background having been influenced by books like, I Kissed Dating Goodbye and When God Writes Your Love Story really limited me in my choices of who I "should" be with. All those types that fit into the christian author's perfect description of what kind of man I needed, wanted nothing to do with me. So my quest broadened to whoever pays attention to me, I will give a fair chance. And by the blessed grace of God the man that paid attention was Simon.
And with the typing of that last sentence I can't hold back the tears.
He had no claimed faith in Jesus, at the time, and during our second encounter he was hungover. Any good Christian girl would have fled the scene. Been completely disinterested. And in a way, I tried to be. Tell myself I deserved better. Little did I know the best was yet to come. I was strongly drawn to him. He was/is a man of character and integrity. Hard working, fun loving, stress free. An instant friend, stranger to no one. Plus, the Aussie accent, 6'4" chiseled baseball player build and enchanting smile didn't hurt :)
But one of his most impressive attributes and continues to be, is his respect for and treatment toward women. He speaks highly of his mother always. Loves, admires and respects his older sister. And one of my favorite memories of our early dating days (he would say we WERE NOT dating at the time) was when we were enjoying a lovely spring afternoon sitting alongside the brick wall near the cafeteria. Two girls from my dorm that played on the volleyball team walked past us wearing dresses. He spoke out to them and commented on how nice they looked in their spring dresses. It was the most sincere non-pick up line compliment I had ever heard. They swooned. And I could have been so jealous, and not to say there wasn't that middle school girl in me growling. But at that moment I was so PROUD to be the girl by his side. So honored that he was confident enough in himself and our friendship that he could pay other women a true compliment without it being sleazy.
The unfortunate part of this story is I continued to read those books and evaluate every aspect of our relationship through them. I would call him in distress, worried that he didn't quite fit the mold (even after he gave his life to Jesus). Our relationship didn't look like the perfect, pure "Christian" relationship I was reading about. All these rules and strict ideas about how to date and we were falling short. But somehow HE was the problem. If only I could have put the books down and picked up a mirror. And all those things that he should be doing, how much time he should be reading the Bible, leading us in prayer- yes all good things, but my sister said the other day, "You know, I would almost rather a husband willing to take out the trash than one who sits around reading his Bible alot." Amen. Amazing how actually serving communicates quite a bit more than reading about serving.
I called my grandma after we had gotten engaged in a sheer emotional panic. How do I know I'm making the right choice? I was so confused by all I had read and all I was afraid of. My grandma is a wise woman. Gentle, calm, not often emotional or irrational. She told me she believed Simon would be a great husband for me. And those simple, yet very wise words could not be any truer. Without any effort on my part he has proven to be the most incredible husband a girl could ask for or dream up. And I wonder for his sweet sake, if all that time and energy focused on making him fit the mold could have been redirected toward enhancing myself as a loving partner- how much better could his life have been? And who really in the relationship seemed to understand what our faith was all about in the end?
After all the forcing him into a box I tried, he STILL loved me. And not a day went or goes by by that he didn't/doesn't tell me. I never had to wonder if he thought I was beautiful because he would and still tells me day after day. This gracious man. When it would have been so much easier to walk away after all my harping on him, he stuck by my side. And gosh that sounds a lot like the love I hear God has too.
So here is this man in my life. Who didn't fit the mold but models to me on a human scale the gracious, unconditional love that I don't deserve, that I didn't earn but that I so thankfully receive. And it looks and sounds and feels so much like the love of Jesus.
He is my blinding glimpse into the GREATER that exists. And his Aussie accent, 6'4" frame and enchanting smile are an added bonus.
I love you babe. Thank you for loving me and helping me keep the faith.
Join me in recognizing the people in our life who love us graciously and show us a glimpse of the GREATEST love.
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